est. 1924 · 1 Countable Way
The Hilbert Grand Hotel
Always full. Always room.
- Rooms
- ℵ₀
- Occupancy
- 100%
- Vacancies
- Unlimited
- Guests turned away
- 0
The amenities
Breakfast
Served 6 to 10 a.m. on every floor. There are infinitely many floors.
The elevator
Calls at every floor. We do not offer a penthouse, as there is no top floor.
Room service
Delivered promptly to any room whose number you can name.
The pool
Heated to a uniform temperature throughout, which took some doing.
Coach parking
The forecourt accepts any number of coaches, including infinitely many of them.
Housekeeping
Every room is cleaned daily. Our staff is exactly as numerous as our rooms, by arrangement.
Quiet hours
From 10 p.m., silence is observed in all but finitely many rooms.
The night manager
Has never once failed to find a guest a room. This is a theorem, not a promise.
From the guest book
I have stayed here since opening night. Every so often they ask me to move along one room, and every so often I oblige. The exercise is good for me.
I asked the front desk whether the hotel was full. They said yes. I asked whether I could have a room. They said certainly. I have chosen not to press the matter.
I arrived at midnight with infinitely many passengers, all of them tired. By a quarter past, every one of them had a bed. A remarkable operation.
A grand hotel with infinitely many rooms, all of them occupied, and one ready for you.
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